Self-Control via 1983

This is only as real as you want it to be.

The fun thing about riding around in planes, is that it gets you closer to heaven. But it doesn’t have to be all that bad. In fact, there is a bucket load of new safety technology coming out these days that absolutely profess new and interesting trajectories in flying transportation. But aside from all of that business, can I just say that I think science is just amazing!

There is a lot of talk about the housing market these days. And I completely understand what it’s like to live in a place that is just, downright, miserable. Plenty of people are just, fuggin givin up these days. And really, who can blame them? Renting is in, buying is out. Except in places like, Houston. But we all know that Houston is going to be eaten alive when cars come to life.

Which will happen.

I used to live in Houston, and believe it to be one of the strangest cities to live in. Strictly speaking, I would not wish to die there. That would be a bizarre circus of hell that I would prefer to not put up with. But dying itself is an interesting concept. Lots of people do it. I wonder if the afterlife will be anything like this:

Because if it is. I want to not do the dying.

Sad times, indeed…

Why the hell are superheros not allowed to drink? Like that one scene from Superman III, where Superman goes into a pub for some reason who cares that his business, and has a Jameson on the rox, dumps the peanuts bowl over shoots up the liquor shelf like it’s Lex Luther’s face and then kicks his own ass. So what? Everyone’s got that, dark side. But I mean, this is old news, this happens to everyone at one point or another:

And unfortunately, this happened to me the other night. And it was, really bad. But then I kicked my own ass, and thusly, renewed my wholesome spirit.

Fin

PS: I actually found the video online, but when I reloaded the page, it had been removed. LAME.

Thunder Gods, lighten up?

Well, I guess this means we’ll take the bus.

I’ve never really understood what it meant to be a victim, as the actual word itself seems like a never-ending type cast character out some television show that’s been on since the beginning of time. And I suppose I should have acted a bit more affright than I did. But the events last night, are more like the comical misunderstandings of this guy. It’s comical only because it was JUST my equipment that was molested. All other equipment was left alone, and in pristine condition.

So, many of you might be wondering just what went on last night. Seeing how Austin, TX is the brightest center of the Universe Proper, it would be hard to not know what happened.

My preciousss….

Above are my two children, Murphy and Le Freque. Both were raped by the Thunder Gods last night, and if you look close, you can see a bit of leaf on Freqs. He was scared, both of them, utterly terrified of what happened. Their friends, Mixie, and DeLaydre, were equally terrified. Unfortunately, Mixie, got the worst of it all. Below is THE ONLY WINDOW that was blown out by hail, and also a perfect example of why screens are important — and more importantly, why landlords should have screens on all windows prior to move in.

The kids are drying out now. Face down on the carpet. If they cease to work properly by later today then I will let all of you know. But, probably not until my tears have dried up. Well, as I always used to say…these things, happen…

I suppose more importantly, if they do end up working perfectly, then they were not raped nor molested — they were instead, lovingly blessed by the Mother Goddess of the Skies; she has sanctified my gear.

… on many levels, I feel honored this very moment…

“Mm.meh.fhdfkj mother bitches jdfkdj ass djfdjk 39*@#*& shit!!!”

Although it’s probably old news by now, I just wanted to add that my favorite author, Vladimir Nabokov, through miracles of modern medical science — CAME BACK TO LIFE.

“His cell regeneration was probably the most difficult procedure, but we’re all very happy that he came out of cellular modulator pod quite unscathed by the electrofunkullator process. Unfortunately, he was not very happy and decided to condescend to us for about 45 minutes before nurses subdued him.” Reported head scientist Rick Stickleson of American Regenerative Labs, Inc.

The process was used in order to have Mr. Nabokov finish his last novel, “Laura“.