Thunder Gods, lighten up?

Well, I guess this means we’ll take the bus.

I’ve never really understood what it meant to be a victim, as the actual word itself seems like a never-ending type cast character out some television show that’s been on since the beginning of time. And I suppose I should have acted a bit more affright than I did. But the events last night, are more like the comical misunderstandings of this guy. It’s comical only because it was JUST my equipment that was molested. All other equipment was left alone, and in pristine condition.

So, many of you might be wondering just what went on last night. Seeing how Austin, TX is the brightest center of the Universe Proper, it would be hard to not know what happened.

My preciousss….

Above are my two children, Murphy and Le Freque. Both were raped by the Thunder Gods last night, and if you look close, you can see a bit of leaf on Freqs. He was scared, both of them, utterly terrified of what happened. Their friends, Mixie, and DeLaydre, were equally terrified. Unfortunately, Mixie, got the worst of it all. Below is THE ONLY WINDOW that was blown out by hail, and also a perfect example of why screens are important — and more importantly, why landlords should have screens on all windows prior to move in.

The kids are drying out now. Face down on the carpet. If they cease to work properly by later today then I will let all of you know. But, probably not until my tears have dried up. Well, as I always used to say…these things, happen…

I suppose more importantly, if they do end up working perfectly, then they were not raped nor molested — they were instead, lovingly blessed by the Mother Goddess of the Skies; she has sanctified my gear.

… on many levels, I feel honored this very moment…

“Mm.meh.fhdfkj mother bitches jdfkdj ass djfdjk 39*@#*& shit!!!”

Although it’s probably old news by now, I just wanted to add that my favorite author, Vladimir Nabokov, through miracles of modern medical science — CAME BACK TO LIFE.

“His cell regeneration was probably the most difficult procedure, but we’re all very happy that he came out of cellular modulator pod quite unscathed by the electrofunkullator process. Unfortunately, he was not very happy and decided to condescend to us for about 45 minutes before nurses subdued him.” Reported head scientist Rick Stickleson of American Regenerative Labs, Inc.

The process was used in order to have Mr. Nabokov finish his last novel, “Laura“.