Archive for April, 2008

The Exciting Swirls of 1991

Posted in Social Studies on April 25, 2008 by polarbearface

i dunno man

Maybe things will be.. easier in the future…

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! WRONG. It is perfectly logical to think that things have become easier, with the drive-through coffee shops, the Interwebs, computerized cars, and even cellular telephones. But before you JUMP to conclusions, let’s just state the facts:

  1. Although life is easier, living has become harder.
  2. While the realm of medical technology has advanced into incredibly fascinating depths, people are still living and dying in the 18th century.
  3. Robots and robotic contraptions are used in just about every facet of life, from birth to death. And for the most part are largely believed to be emotionless. Until now.
  4. In the 90’s Bill made some great decisions towards the economy and choosing to spice up his sexual lifestyle. But in the future (NOW) Bill Clinton is a hater.
  5. And as a reminder, justice is still a joke, and don’t expect to win against the New Police State.

You DO MATTER

Well, I guess I don’t….

If you are a failure, the Government will be the first to remind you of this. As a musician, freelance writer, coffee understander, cyclist, and naturally awkward person, I feel that there are times when you fail at trying to do something right — be it an exam, blind date, car accident, tax evasion, or using correct grammar in an incorrect situation — you can still come out of it a solid gold winner. Even if you are a born loser. And most of us are.

“It’s what’s on the inside that counts.” However, in today’s anything-goes society, that phrase is basically useless. You may say, “But I don’t feel like you’re listening…” And believe me, people are NOT listening. Or “What, do I look like I’m made out of money?” Well, guess what. “What?” Is that a crisp Washington I see on your sleeve? “Uh…wha? Oh…dude, awesome.”

Women are awesome.

This never happens in real life.

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Hey Miss Broadway!

Posted in Ennui on April 24, 2008 by polarbearface

Savage Streets

Better start looking for your lucky stars…

I am challenged to think that we are looking in the wrong place when searching for the troubles that darken the psychology of a technically advanced society. Whereas we are keen to look inward at the individual, we rarely look outward. For instance, you are as much a part of your environment as it is of you, and you will do and behave almost accordingly. For instance, you are more likely to do non-space things when you live in a non-space community.

“If we are interested in the prevention of mental-emotional disorders, we must change those social conditions that produce these disorders,” writes Robert J. Sternberg of Yale University. When juxtaposed against one another in a world “driven by corporate-inspired political conservatism, consumerism, patriarchy, and corrupt exploitative power systems,” it’s hard not to want to release your energies against the powers that be, or in a more extreme and common scenario, against your neighbor.

You don’t, have to do this…

Why does everyone always say the same thing…when John McCain delivers another boring boring speech about how much more organized and efficient he will be in times of turmoil, than our current President who’s name I stopped saying months back? I mean isn’t it obvious that he’s full of supreme shit? Really, people should stop showing up at his parties.

Yes.

“Uh, huh, I like it…”

Sometimes life can get you down…and in these times full of hardships, the last think you can think about is putting on the running shoes, tights, head/wrist bands, and head out to the gym. But that’s where many people go wrong, because guess what. Nothing beats the blues more than precise fashion skills, flowing hair, riding gym bikes and being consumed by horrific green lighting.

Everything Must Run its Course

Posted in Ennui on April 22, 2008 by polarbearface

Some people will do anything to get a little bit of attention.

Men and women have been discussing their damn issues with each other for about 50 years. And sometimes, most of the time, things are worked out, in a civil manner. But for some, the confusion sets in from the start, resulting in god-what-happened! moments. At least that’s how things used to be. According to Nando Pelusi Ph.D. men and women expect different things when going into a relationship, and here is some advice she gives to men and women of said issues:

Memo to Men

Be wary of your desire to pursue an idealized woman, maybe even an ex (idealized again, after an absence). Guys get needy for acquisition and pursuit. You’re fantasizing about a perfect woman. That’s OK. But if you want to get off that roller coaster of chronic disillusionment, remind yourself that your genetic legacy is to fool yourself before you’re in, and then pull away once the woman is off the pedestal. Dante may have been intoxicated with Beatrice his whole life, but it was from afar. He never so much as kissed her. That makes for great poetry, but not great relating.

A Word to Women

Be cautious about your tendency to believe you need to make a relationship work at all costs; it’s a taxing and corrosive path—and it rarely works. You may not consciously want children, but the emotional engine that has evolved among women is to be very cautious about sex—and then to get very emotionally involved once in the relationship. That means that you may have unwanted feelings of neediness only after a relationship has emerged. You can fight the idea that a particularly fraught relationship must work out.

That should solve many of our problems from the get go. And after a while, things may just work out 🙂

But as usual, when a bad break up occurs, and over time the late night drunk dialing, followed by the early morning text messages, that always start out as, “Aww….we’re just, So crazy… I wuvs you,” turn into hearty disgust. And then the cycle continues.

Just last week, in Turkey, a married couple gets into a fight, and well, split up. But…due to text messenging, they accidentally murdered each other, “That day, the lack of a single dot over a letter—product of a faulty localization of the cellphone’s typing system—caused a chain of events that ended in a violent blood bath.

The use of “i” resulted in an SMS with a completely twisted meaning: instead of writing the word “sıkısınca” it looked like he wrote “sikisince.” Ramazan wanted to write ‘You change the topic every time you run out of arguments‘ but what Emine read was, ‘You change the topic every time they are fucking you‘.”

Fin

It’s ok, no one has to know.

Have you ever wanted to just get away from it all? Live somewhere far away, and not just down the street? I think the answer to that question is rather obvious. But then again, you-never-know. Just recently, Milky Way President, Stephen Hawking, has decided to let us begin building colonies on Mars and the Moon. Yes, well, now many people may be skeptical, but, fear not. He’s a professional. While it’s obvious that future colonies are just absolutely out of the picture (war, war, and war, gas, etc), there must exist a force with enough passion and intelligence to get us there, “We cannot envision visiting them with current technology, but we should make interstellar travel a long-term aim,” he said. “By long term, I mean over the next 200 to 500 years.” IT’S NOT THAT LONG. In comparison to the rate of human evolution.

But if you’re like me, and you believe the outer space folks will actually have come by before then and slapped their little brothers and sisters on the back of the head for being SO UNFATHOMABLY DUMB. Then I really don’t see any reason to doubt our interstellar experiences to begin but from about 18 years from now.

Running Up That Hill

Posted in Social Studies on April 21, 2008 by polarbearface

Let’s talk about me.

In the next few weeks, the election of 2008 will teach us on how we can survive from being manipulated into paranoid freaks. In response to a Hillary Clinton ad which featured images of bin Laden, and Pearl Harbor and the ever-so-lovely-line ‘Who do you think has what it takes?’, an Obama spokesman, Bill Burton responds: “It’s ironic that she would borrow the president’s tactics in her own campaign and invoke bin Laden to score political points,” Mr. Burton said. “We already have a President who plays the politics of fear, and we don’t need another.”

In response to Obama’s critique on Hillary’s past with Washington, she urged democrats to take a closer…look, at him…. Hm.. Well? Ok. Fine. I will do just that.

Ok. Done. So, he’ll have spent almost 9 million more on campaigns. Yeah, I can see why he’d have to… But that’s hand in hand with Hillary, thus making this the most expensive campaigning in U.S. history. Geh… let’s move on then.

Remember when computers were “challenged“; where 24 megabytes was the space age? Well if not, then we’ve got news for you: things have changed.

Although this was something that according to ancient science fiction, should have occurred in 1997, some very cheeky London scientists have created a bionic eye that is nicely compacted into a microchip, inserted into the eye, in which the patient is then given a pair of glasses that has a camera on it. While still being developed for wider use, this new invention could revolutionize the world.

What’s on everyone’s mind: do these glasses come in designer brand names?

Technology is a strange thing, and can be used for ill or good. Whereas this is obviously a good thing, helping people to be able to see again, technology has a dark side. That dark side being the ambitions and greed of barons and presidents. By the year 2020, it’s quite reasonable to believe that earth’s great scientists will have been able to create a space module capable of reaching, say, Titan, with the intention of investigation and breaking new boundaries for humanity as a whole. But of course the barons and presidents and other investors, will take this great achievement to a new level — because a planet with earth-like qualities means its ours. Obviously.

And for the children of this great planet, I present you the future of toy kits: robotic-eye kits for children and adults! This will of course, spark a whole new area of untapped law suits, and not to mention gruesome outcomes.

IT. Was just a joke. Get over it.

In a recent article in the Seattle Times, research has shown that bamboo is essentially the perfect plant for this planet, “Bamboo sequesters carbon dioxide at far higher rates than an equivalent stand of trees and releases up to three times the amount of oxygen.” Beautiful. Now what are we waiting for? Cloned bamboo is set to prove this point and in doing so, save this planet from the bipeds that are forcing it to go through yet another extinction cycle. Alas! I can see this world a world of buildings covered in bamboo, where vertical farming can make its way into the hearts of all magical major cities. Finally, giving us the world we have all been waiting for…

Unfortunately, hemp has been left in the dust, crying out for the political validation it rightfully deserves.

Good Good Times in the South South South

Posted in Ennui on April 18, 2008 by polarbearface

So, I decided to start my own blog. And in doing so, I feel like a jellyfish.

Interesting fact about jellyfish: when they begin to show up in large numbers, it usually means there is a huge problem in the marina. Scientists can confirm this. This is my first real blog, and so I am learning th ropes of it — so far. I did start one a long time ago, but that was what I like to refer to as the “Dark Ages” whereupon I would sit in front of the computer and watch schizophrenic versions of myself play themselves out through HORRIBLE syntax. I’ve learned a lot since then. And that blog was closed down.

Nice Legs. I like legs. I love legs, because you can do so many different things with them. And if these legs happened to be attached to a nice body, carrying a ball of sorts, or wearing a tight red sweater. Then sure. I’m down. And to sum up this little tangent, that is how I feel about blog writing. Blog writing, to be exact. So, this is in essence, my first REAL REAL blog that in all likely circumstances, shan’t be deleted in darkmorning mid-drunk fervor. I wouldn’t say, get up after having fallen asleep on the futon, and decide to delete this, because I just wasn’t able to work things out with my ISSUES. Etc. etc. If you’re bored, just look at the lady above, she’s waiting.

Alright, I will most likely return in the next week or so. Shaun and I are getting a house in the next week, and moving will ensue, etc. Trucks. That sort of thing, and setting it up. Bleh, good times. And hopefully after this, we will stop moving around, because frankly, I’m damn sick of moving. For Christ’s Sakes, Jesus, 75% of my ME is in boxes!

So, till next time, happy passover and stuff.