Running Up That Hill

Let’s talk about me.

In the next few weeks, the election of 2008 will teach us on how we can survive from being manipulated into paranoid freaks. In response to a Hillary Clinton ad which featured images of bin Laden, and Pearl Harbor and the ever-so-lovely-line ‘Who do you think has what it takes?’, an Obama spokesman, Bill Burton responds: “It’s ironic that she would borrow the president’s tactics in her own campaign and invoke bin Laden to score political points,” Mr. Burton said. “We already have a President who plays the politics of fear, and we don’t need another.”

In response to Obama’s critique on Hillary’s past with Washington, she urged democrats to take a closer…look, at him…. Hm.. Well? Ok. Fine. I will do just that.

Ok. Done. So, he’ll have spent almost 9 million more on campaigns. Yeah, I can see why he’d have to… But that’s hand in hand with Hillary, thus making this the most expensive campaigning in U.S. history. Geh… let’s move on then.

Remember when computers were “challenged“; where 24 megabytes was the space age? Well if not, then we’ve got news for you: things have changed.

Although this was something that according to ancient science fiction, should have occurred in 1997, some very cheeky London scientists have created a bionic eye that is nicely compacted into a microchip, inserted into the eye, in which the patient is then given a pair of glasses that has a camera on it. While still being developed for wider use, this new invention could revolutionize the world.

What’s on everyone’s mind: do these glasses come in designer brand names?

Technology is a strange thing, and can be used for ill or good. Whereas this is obviously a good thing, helping people to be able to see again, technology has a dark side. That dark side being the ambitions and greed of barons and presidents. By the year 2020, it’s quite reasonable to believe that earth’s great scientists will have been able to create a space module capable of reaching, say, Titan, with the intention of investigation and breaking new boundaries for humanity as a whole. But of course the barons and presidents and other investors, will take this great achievement to a new level — because a planet with earth-like qualities means its ours. Obviously.

And for the children of this great planet, I present you the future of toy kits: robotic-eye kits for children and adults! This will of course, spark a whole new area of untapped law suits, and not to mention gruesome outcomes.

IT. Was just a joke. Get over it.

In a recent article in the Seattle Times, research has shown that bamboo is essentially the perfect plant for this planet, “Bamboo sequesters carbon dioxide at far higher rates than an equivalent stand of trees and releases up to three times the amount of oxygen.” Beautiful. Now what are we waiting for? Cloned bamboo is set to prove this point and in doing so, save this planet from the bipeds that are forcing it to go through yet another extinction cycle. Alas! I can see this world a world of buildings covered in bamboo, where vertical farming can make its way into the hearts of all magical major cities. Finally, giving us the world we have all been waiting for…

Unfortunately, hemp has been left in the dust, crying out for the political validation it rightfully deserves.


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