Everything Must Run its Course

Some people will do anything to get a little bit of attention.

Men and women have been discussing their damn issues with each other for about 50 years. And sometimes, most of the time, things are worked out, in a civil manner. But for some, the confusion sets in from the start, resulting in god-what-happened! moments. At least that’s how things used to be. According to Nando Pelusi Ph.D. men and women expect different things when going into a relationship, and here is some advice she gives to men and women of said issues:

Memo to Men

Be wary of your desire to pursue an idealized woman, maybe even an ex (idealized again, after an absence). Guys get needy for acquisition and pursuit. You’re fantasizing about a perfect woman. That’s OK. But if you want to get off that roller coaster of chronic disillusionment, remind yourself that your genetic legacy is to fool yourself before you’re in, and then pull away once the woman is off the pedestal. Dante may have been intoxicated with Beatrice his whole life, but it was from afar. He never so much as kissed her. That makes for great poetry, but not great relating.

A Word to Women

Be cautious about your tendency to believe you need to make a relationship work at all costs; it’s a taxing and corrosive path—and it rarely works. You may not consciously want children, but the emotional engine that has evolved among women is to be very cautious about sex—and then to get very emotionally involved once in the relationship. That means that you may have unwanted feelings of neediness only after a relationship has emerged. You can fight the idea that a particularly fraught relationship must work out.

That should solve many of our problems from the get go. And after a while, things may just work out 🙂

But as usual, when a bad break up occurs, and over time the late night drunk dialing, followed by the early morning text messages, that always start out as, “Aww….we’re just, So crazy… I wuvs you,” turn into hearty disgust. And then the cycle continues.

Just last week, in Turkey, a married couple gets into a fight, and well, split up. But…due to text messenging, they accidentally murdered each other, “That day, the lack of a single dot over a letter—product of a faulty localization of the cellphone’s typing system—caused a chain of events that ended in a violent blood bath.

The use of “i” resulted in an SMS with a completely twisted meaning: instead of writing the word “sıkısınca” it looked like he wrote “sikisince.” Ramazan wanted to write ‘You change the topic every time you run out of arguments‘ but what Emine read was, ‘You change the topic every time they are fucking you‘.”

Fin

It’s ok, no one has to know.

Have you ever wanted to just get away from it all? Live somewhere far away, and not just down the street? I think the answer to that question is rather obvious. But then again, you-never-know. Just recently, Milky Way President, Stephen Hawking, has decided to let us begin building colonies on Mars and the Moon. Yes, well, now many people may be skeptical, but, fear not. He’s a professional. While it’s obvious that future colonies are just absolutely out of the picture (war, war, and war, gas, etc), there must exist a force with enough passion and intelligence to get us there, “We cannot envision visiting them with current technology, but we should make interstellar travel a long-term aim,” he said. “By long term, I mean over the next 200 to 500 years.” IT’S NOT THAT LONG. In comparison to the rate of human evolution.

But if you’re like me, and you believe the outer space folks will actually have come by before then and slapped their little brothers and sisters on the back of the head for being SO UNFATHOMABLY DUMB. Then I really don’t see any reason to doubt our interstellar experiences to begin but from about 18 years from now.

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2 Responses to “Everything Must Run its Course”

  1. nanchois Says:

    is that Garfield? photoshopped or not photoshopped?

  2. polarbearface Says:

    I believe it’s real. Here is the link:

    http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2809392.html

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