It’s Like, You know, a Social Thing

Sleep it off Caruso. Sleep it off.

David, Ally and I are both disappointed in you.

Many people over the times have been confused by things they do not readily understand. When you read Proust, Nabokov, Dickens, or I don’t know, Charlotte Brontë on a cool, summer day, you might have to read through it a bit slower than say, People Magazine. Unfortunately, this is our culture. For instance, when you read Lolita, for the first time, it’s perhaps unlikely that you will completely understand ALL of the impressive literary references. These days, things have changed. And although I’m certainly no Mozart of the English language, I do know talent whence my eyes hath feast upon it. It is at this point, I would like to request a thought towards the best writers in our digital age, those of the Interwebs. (Everyone that’s anyone uses, this very specific and boring terminology.) Many people use the Internet for writing. I am one of them. And like you, who surely writes as you do breathe the fine air of this planet, I find it enchanting to throw in several of the slightest literary and newsworthy references from time to time. Or as the Franch would say, la recherche du temps en temps.

Place of Where They Make You Better

Moving on, towards the individual’s instinct to write, draw, scribble, and doodle, dare I say, is it possible, that our visual cortex has or is being reformatted to write better through the screen of a computer, rather than that of the pencil and paper? Is this one single step forward in our evolution! Are we being entirely abused by the ease of typing, word font, the fitting cliche terminology, etc. etc.? Why, I dare say we are. I wonder what human evolution has to say about this… Moreover, I wonder what Detective Caruso would say about this.

Explain this to me...

An interesting part about this blog is that after you read it, you will suddenly feel as though you’ve…done this, before. Or that you’ve, had a moment of strong coincidence… I assure you, it’s likely that this is because I’ve somehow tapped into your consciousness. Because I have an ability to see into people’s words, feel their presence, know what they’re thinking before they know I know, and how to adjust accordingly to their body temperature because that’s what I was taught… Or maybe I don’t have said, magical powers. It’s not like I’ve evolved any different from the next guy.

Why.

Papi, why u do dis to me?

You know, a lot of people have asked me this in the last 4 days: what is your blog about? Or, I love it. So, what’s it abo— Stop. Just stop. I’m going to ‘splain this to you right now. Clear this up. My blog, is about, being a 14 year old girl who just wants to fall in love all over again, and not with that ugly boy at summer camp. It’s about being a 23 year old boy, who just wants to write to no one, because he has everyone to talk to, and sing to, and be appreciated by, etc. etc.

Seriously.

What what, in da butt

It’s about being a 10 year old dog, plainly wondering what life is about, why his fur is falling out, why his eyes can’t see as well, and why his food tastes like cardboard. It’s about you. It’s about being together in this crazy world, together, you and me. The author and the audience. Your reaction, and my reaction to your reaction. It’s about us, and them. It’s about this:

I can’t stand how you eat. Like one of those goddam polar bears.
What’s it to you? You didn’t seem to mind when we were together.

GUYS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

“SHUT UP BLINKIE!”
So, just because I eat like a polar – I can’t even say it…that’s low. That’s below the belt.
It’s the truth. You’re a slob. Just look at Blinkie’s friend, hey you. Hey!
“What.”
What’s your name?
“Blast Off.”
What? the fu-?
“What?”
Your name Dude. Blast Off? Seriously?
“Yes, my mother was Three, Two One.”
Hahahahahaahahaha!
“My father was Bomb’s Away.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHH!HAHAHAH! LOL LOL LOL!
Oh my god, oh…wow. WOW.

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One Response to “It’s Like, You know, a Social Thing”

  1. Have enjoyed skimming through your blog…also, all of the pandas are nice. I’ll certainly be back. xo.

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