FUCK YOU AUSTIN: No ID, No Hand jobs.
That’s the rule.

In the last week, I’ve almost been hit by 4 different jackass assjackles. Why? Well, since the summer let up, the massive university that consumes Austin Texas, just became re-activated. Like a smelly switch in the dark, thousands of dick sticks are waiting for free handouts, beer, booze, and candid, yet tormenting nights full of Dave Matthews make out sessions.

As the big white trucks passes me blaring the hit song from 1998, “Satellite”, I am trying day and night, to stay alive on the road, while these bizarro-people maneauver the streets in their impossibly huge all-terrain vehicles. HOWEVER To be fair, they have some pretty interesting rides. And I do commend them for their efforts:

Moreover: there’s nothing wrong w/owning a large cock truck as long as you signal before turning or running over motorcyclists.

Okay Alright, I’ve said my peace. Hopefully I don’t die before I become famous. Because that would be rather counter-productive to my plans of having super children of whom will be trained to ride iron motor horses, own engraved six-shooters with the names of their lovely wives, and essentially reinvent the west, just as their dear father would have wanted; moving on…


Word of advice for anyone trying to work 3 jobs simultaneously: Do Not Attept: Unless you are absolutely willing to suffer the consequences.

Yes, it’s true, every day is full of work, work, and then working on the bottle. It’s only temporary, but every day I feel a little more like my father, sans confusing boy-children with weird prepubescent habits. When I’m not working on the other jobs, I’m working on the real day job: being a musical genius. It’s not often that I will admit such lies, but I think our band’s music has a good chance; more on that some other time:

This piece of art can be found in the men’s
bathroom facilities at the Hole in the Wall, in Austin, TX.

Alright…alright —- If you do attempt to have serious multi-functional work schedules, make sure that you have proper time management skills, and by that I mean, it is absolutely beyond important to make time for the intake of mind-altering substances, on a monthly if not bi-weekly basis. It is scientifically proven that by doing this, you in turn help configure your brain to the massive amount of information going in and out, by which you then begin to create a world of interesting ups and downs, that will surely help any struggling artist overcome his/her fear of being an actual artist in one of the worst economies of our time. Being said, I have a green and red date in 2 weeks (serious inquiries only).




  1. When you are the moon, there is a person people say is the sun. I saw the sun once, and he came past me, really fast. And it was an, it was called, the, an eclipse. And he came fast! But as he came past, I, I licked his back. And he doesn’t know

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