I never thought I’d be the first to say, that damn, I’d like to get a motorcycle because you know what sucks? Being hot and having to walk your bike 3 miles back from the bank that you didn’t make it to because you got a flat, and forgot to pack your air pump. Just in case no one is reading this, that’s sarcasm. But if you are reading this, then it’s still sarcasm. My humor these days is like this:
I know, double you tea ef?
So, wheels. Yeah, everyone I know in Austin has a ride. Except 5 or 6 people. I know 4 people with cars. 5 people with motorized 2 wheel driving contraptions, and 2 people like myself, with proper peddling simple machines. If all of the people with cars need to be on a train leaving Chicago at 4PM, and headed to Hertfordshire by the following day (airfare / boatfare not included in equation package); and the 5 people with 2-wheel motorized driving contraptions are on a land boat, traveling approximately 55 MPH, roughly around the same time the train is leaving (except 2 weeks prior) — when will the 2 people like myself most likely meet up for beers on Sunday? Anyone? No one? Well. Well, does anyone remember this remarkably well-shot scene:
“Dude, I booked this conference room. Not you. So get out.”
“What, but I thought, that — wait. Is this a joke? This is a joke isn’t it?”
“Yes. It is.”
“Yawn…I wonder what Linda’s doing now…probably programming another me, hehe…”
“You know I really shouldn’t let it bother me, but it does, like, what does she think she’s doing?”
“You know this is stupid. I shouldn’t be mad. Ha, I’m not getting mad over another identical me, that’s – Life. Life happens, and you just gotta roll with it.”
“Come to think of it, I just feel like a lot of my time is spent worrying about stuff like that.”
“I need to just, relax. Not get mad at the little things.”
“You know what. I’m gonna turn over a new leaf. Out with all that negativity. In with some real positive change.”
You know, I have to say, I’m real glad I don’t work for the office anymore. That life was weird. I felt weird, like I was a business dude, always working, always making the big bucks, always on top of my business, and making conference calls, and giving lectures in leadership. I mean, the life, the drinks, the free access into booty-town, the booty-town corporate events, booty-town in the conference room at midnight, I mean… Just kidding. Booty-town is something I just made up. But my bosses had plenty of that. But things between us, just didn’t sit right. I knew what they were up to. And I left. Because we all know what happens when you stick around.